Old Man Winter is calling but don't answer!

There is a blizzard in Chicago today. I've been watching it from the comfort of my couch for the past four hours. This got me thinking....

When most Chicagoan's are faced with Old Man Winter, they become no better than their local sleepy, impossible to see at the zoo, hibernating bear. This is why, come late September, single Chicagoan's start to feel a bit anxious. The nesting season (of approximately five long months) is upon us and well we feel sad at the possibility of a winter of alone-ness. We MUST find another single person to join us in our winter wonder lands a.k.a warm and comfortable apartments and we MUST find them soon! I'm oh too familiar with this anxious feeling. Right around this time of year, I re-activate my match profile, I start the intensely focused cruising for attractive single men at every event I attend, I buy stunning dresses to wear to holiday parties and...I start screening my phone calls.

That's right, I screen my calls! This wintery season, I have already received three out of the blue phone calls from men I've dated at different times and for different lengths within the past two years. Tis the season to be.....called randomly! Turns out, single men, just like single women are hopeful they will meet someone to help them get though the Chicago wintery blues. When that doesn't happen, both in men and in women, a desperation surfaces that impulsively causes improper usage of the cell phone contact list. Ex's of seasons past call, call, call each other until one call leads to another and they are once again seeing, hooking up or going to crappy holiday parties with people they rightfully dumped or admit it, rightfully dumped them.

Question: Why? Why? Why?
Answer: We are human. We are cold. We are alone.

Word from the a not always wise but definitely a happy, still single (but not void of this anxiousness) Chicago winter survivor! Don't be lazy and answer or make those calls to or from the ex's! Get off your butts, face the cold, walk yourself to a bar, party or event and try to meet someone else who also isn't settling for less. The reward will be so much better!

Happy Holiday Season!

My friends and I out on a cold snowy night! We did it!

About My One Documented Follower (and her husband)

I have one documented follower on this blog and sadly that one documented follower (my sister) told my mother just a few days ago that she didn't remember I had a blog (or that's how the story goes anyway). I realize that I don't update this blog very often but the plan is to start updating it more. If you enjoy my blog or even if you don't but are one of the millions of people super bored surfing the net at work, please become my follower! This will make me feel better because lets face it, I love documented attention.

Whether she reads this or not, this blog entry is about my one documented follower. She is, as mentioned, my sister and just last month she married Tim. Tim and Bethany are a great couple and on their wedding day, I had the opportunity to give a little speech. This is what I said....

'Bethany, you are one of the most determined and intelligent persons I know. You may not know this but I have admired you for as long as I can remember. Even though our teenage years.

You taught me how to walk and inspired me to dance and today as adults we still have been known to dance and sing to our favorite Broadway musicals together.

You showed me that hard work pays off and took me on your journey to Mizzou and Chicago and without looking back I followed because there was no where I would have rather been then with my big sister.

And now, today with Tim, you are showing me what true love looks like. I see it in your smiles, communication and affection with and for each other. I know you well. You are happy and content and even though you live so far from me, I do not worry because I know Tim will keep you safe, make you laugh and travel the world with you. All of the things you need.

Tim, in 2006 Bethany kept talking about this Tim guy, "Tim this, Tim that". Finally, you came to Chicago and we met face to face. You were so calm and kind in how you treated my sister and I and from that point forward I was hoping that you were in fact "the one" for her.

Tim and Bethany, may your adventures be far and wide. May your love for each other always be generous and kind. Tim, welcome to our family....enjoy!'

The happy couple on September 18th, 2010

A "shoe that fits"

I wish dating was as fun as finding the perfect shoe. With shoes the hunt is a thrill! So many choices, so many varieties, colors, shapes, designs, buckles, sling backs, flats, pumps, oh my goodness, I'm getting excited just thinking about it. I buy the perfect shoe. I wear the perfect shoe then oh no, they cause the perfect blister. OUCH, but who cares, no need to be upset. I go get my Dr. Scholl's inserts, fix them up a bit and me and that shoe are set for life. Even if they start looking a bit rugged I keep them because, lets face it, memorable times in shoes trumps making room in my closet every time! And even more exciting the only baggage they come with is the bag in which I carried them out of the store! Wow, I think I need to go shopping!

When dating, the hunt is more like the feeling you get on one of those enormous slow moving ferris wheels. Excited for the first fifteen minutes to the top. I have the perfect seat, a beautiful view and the heat from the sun warming my face. Oh sounds great, BUT, then I realize that sitting next to me is a crying baby. He can't help that he's crying but nonetheless, he is making this trip hard for everyone! Instantly, I cannot wait for this ride to be over and once back on the ground I drop to my knees and pray to God that soon, oh so very soon, I will find the perfect ferris wheel ride b/c I just cannot take another like this one.

Ok, so maybe I'm being a bit dramatic here but after last weeks dating debacle (and those of dating past) I am feeling a bit concerned about my possibility of finding a Dr. Scholl's adjusted "shoe that fits". I feel like I'm dating perfectly normal guys from a first impression stand point. Here's a quick review of my recent Saturday night festivities (should be noted that this was a second date after a pretty great first date).

The good, the bad and super bad:

1. Immediate compliment of "you look really nice"---GOOD
2. Later in the evening "nice" from the earlier sentence turned into "hot" and included a wink---BAD
3. Even later, he just started referring to me as "arm candy"---SUPER BAD

1. He invited me over to his place for a drink before heading to the bar---GOOD
2. He didn't have any liquor at his house and the place was grossly dirty---BAD
3. He dragged me with him to the grocery store to buy liquor for us. Of all the options in the store, he purchased tequila for pre-bar shots---BAD
4. Proceeded to fill a flask with the tequila, stuffed it into his jacket pocket and proclaimed "now we won't have to buy drinks at the bar" ---SUPER BAD (btw, he also took about 4 shots before leaving his place).

1. Loved to dance---GOOD
2. After making it clear that there was no way I was drinking tequila out of his flask he bought me drinks---GOOD
3. Ran into his ex-girlfriend's friends---mostly just BAD for him (could have been avoided if he hadn't taken me to a place him and his ex frequented...duh!)
4. Pouted and walked out of the room leaving me standing alone (God forbid if I'm going to follow this clown) not too far from his ex-girlfriend's friends AND long enough for another guy to walk over to me and attempt to hit on me (no kidding)---SUPER BAD

I ended the night giving him a lecture on how it wasn't a good idea to take intelligent and confident women on his "rebound adventures" and that if he insisted on doing so he would need to find one that was much more willing to put up with this crap. He was very receptive, hehehehe!

Thanks for reading! I'm off to go shopping...for shoes!

Dear John Doe from the Gym,

I like to work out, in fact, so much so that I even have aspirations to very soon make supplemental income as a Personal Trainer. I live, breath and preach the importance of staying in shape and eating well. During the winter, I'm at the gym at least five times a week and not just for cardio. I would consider myself a gym rat. I'm in the free weight area (not only the machine area) at least three times a week. Barbells, cowbells, bench press...I'm there, Nike weightlifting gloves and all.

The other day, I realized that being in this area of the gym is, for lack of a better description, like being somewhere named "Testosterone Land". First, hardly any women venture into this land. Why would they, right? In fact, it took me a good months of forcing myself to workout in your land to actually feel comfortable. Yes, I was intimidated or maybe even scared. All these strong men grunting and grinding their teeth, even hissing and spitting to get those super large weights pressed, curled or extended, can be very intense. Anyway, I'd like to thank you and all the other boys in "Testosterone Land" for allowing me to visit your area. HOWEVER, before I return I need to let you all know few simple facts. I'm not visiting to....

1. GET A DATE. That's right, I'm there to work out also! I'm curious, is it news that a girl could work out in "Testosterone Land" merely because that's where the best free weights are located AND not to get your attention? Well, hello, I'm that girl and trust me, there are many more of us out there. Also, just an FYI, the pick up line "I like your form. Do you come here often?" is not acceptable...EVER.

2. GET TRAINING TIPS. Thank you very much but I've been working out with coaches, physical therapist and personal trainers for most of my life. Not only that, I've done my own research and unless I ask, I don't need your "I'm a man and I know best" tips. Are you wondering how you are supposed to identify women like me? Hint, if I/we venture into "Testosterone Land" and keep to ourselves, totally not smile at you and just aren't paying any attention to you whatsoever, it's most likely I/we don't want/need your suggestions. To be honest, I could probably help you out more than you could help me. Just wondering, does your back hurt from inappropriately lifting all that weight?

3. GET FLASHED. If your workout at any point includes squatting, leg lifts or sitting full spread on a bench please, please, please I beg you, wear biker shorts under those lovely, a little too small, gym shorts. I know I'm in "Testosterone Land" you don't have to prove it. By the way, biker shorts are pretty cheap at Sports Authority.

So the work day is almost over and I'm headed to the gym. I will most definitely stop into "Testosterone Land" and I do hope you respect my wishes.

Sincerely,

Sarah

Fast Eddie

The below excerpts are conversations based on fact and happened last night at Fion Bar. Description of Fast Eddie: Beer belly, claimed to be 33 but looked more like 45. Self proclaimed professional poker player. Half Hawaiian and could apparently cut a rug like no other (didn't stick around to see that happen).

Here we go...

Fast Eddie: Your pictures don't do you justice, I thought you'd be a bit chubby
Me: What picture gave you that idea?
Fast Eddie: I don't know, there was just that one.
Me: Nope, I don't know which one.

Fast Eddie: You are one of the older girls I've communicated with on Match
Me: I'm only 29??
Fast Eddie: Yeah, my last girlfriend was 26 and I typically date younger women, but you look "hot" so don't worry about it.
Me: Thanks (big gulp of wine).

Fast Eddie: I used to be pretty shallow. You know, when I was younger and in better shape.
Me: We are all like that sometimes, how about today?
Fast Eddie: See back then I had the looks but now, I've got money so you know (wink).
Me to the bartender: Another drink please! Oh yeah, just put it on his tab.

Fast Eddie: I've been known to talk a bit ghetto
Me: Oh really, why do you think that is?
Fast Eddie: I'm part Hawaiian and I hung out with basketball players in college.
Me: I don't understand?
Fast Eddie: I'm part Hawaiian and I hung out with the basketball players in college.
Me: Oh, no way? (yep, this was his only explanation)

Fast Eddie: Yeah, I have a six pack
Me: Nice
Fast Eddie: Yeah, I have a six pack
Me: Great
Fast Eddie: Yeah, I have a six pack
Me: Ok
(So this didn't happen exactly like this but he did mention it three times in 1.5 hours. BTW, while my date went to the bathroom, I asked the bartender if he thought the guy had a six pack. Bartender rolled his eyes and said "yeah, maybe of beer").

Last but not least:

Fast Eddie: I typically date successful women with lots of money.
Me: Oh nice, I'm successful but I work in the non-profit sector.
Fast Eddie: Yeah, I got to be careful with women like that. I'm a professional poker player, I've got to keep my eyes open, don't want to get used.
Me: (Sideways look) You ready to go!!!!!

Online dating is fun but can also be comedy gold!!