The below excerpts are conversations based on fact and happened last night at Fion Bar. Description of Fast Eddie: Beer belly, claimed to be 33 but looked more like 45. Self proclaimed professional poker player. Half Hawaiian and could apparently cut a rug like no other (didn't stick around to see that happen).
Here we go...
Fast Eddie: Your pictures don't do you justice, I thought you'd be a bit chubby
Me: What picture gave you that idea?
Fast Eddie: I don't know, there was just that one.
Me: Nope, I don't know which one.
Fast Eddie: You are one of the older girls I've communicated with on Match
Me: I'm only 29??
Fast Eddie: Yeah, my last girlfriend was 26 and I typically date younger women, but you look "hot" so don't worry about it.
Me: Thanks (big gulp of wine).
Fast Eddie: I used to be pretty shallow. You know, when I was younger and in better shape.
Me: We are all like that sometimes, how about today?
Fast Eddie: See back then I had the looks but now, I've got money so you know (wink).
Me to the bartender: Another drink please! Oh yeah, just put it on his tab.
Fast Eddie: I've been known to talk a bit ghetto
Me: Oh really, why do you think that is?
Fast Eddie: I'm part Hawaiian and I hung out with basketball players in college.
Me: I don't understand?
Fast Eddie: I'm part Hawaiian and I hung out with the basketball players in college.
Me: Oh, no way? (yep, this was his only explanation)
Fast Eddie: Yeah, I have a six pack
Me: Nice
Fast Eddie: Yeah, I have a six pack
Me: Great
Fast Eddie: Yeah, I have a six pack
Me: Ok
(So this didn't happen exactly like this but he did mention it three times in 1.5 hours. BTW, while my date went to the bathroom, I asked the bartender if he thought the guy had a six pack. Bartender rolled his eyes and said "yeah, maybe of beer").
Last but not least:
Fast Eddie: I typically date successful women with lots of money.
Me: Oh nice, I'm successful but I work in the non-profit sector.
Fast Eddie: Yeah, I got to be careful with women like that. I'm a professional poker player, I've got to keep my eyes open, don't want to get used.
Me: (Sideways look) You ready to go!!!!!
Online dating is fun but can also be comedy gold!!
