Old Man Winter is calling but don't answer!

There is a blizzard in Chicago today. I've been watching it from the comfort of my couch for the past four hours. This got me thinking....

When most Chicagoan's are faced with Old Man Winter, they become no better than their local sleepy, impossible to see at the zoo, hibernating bear. This is why, come late September, single Chicagoan's start to feel a bit anxious. The nesting season (of approximately five long months) is upon us and well we feel sad at the possibility of a winter of alone-ness. We MUST find another single person to join us in our winter wonder lands a.k.a warm and comfortable apartments and we MUST find them soon! I'm oh too familiar with this anxious feeling. Right around this time of year, I re-activate my match profile, I start the intensely focused cruising for attractive single men at every event I attend, I buy stunning dresses to wear to holiday parties and...I start screening my phone calls.

That's right, I screen my calls! This wintery season, I have already received three out of the blue phone calls from men I've dated at different times and for different lengths within the past two years. Tis the season to be.....called randomly! Turns out, single men, just like single women are hopeful they will meet someone to help them get though the Chicago wintery blues. When that doesn't happen, both in men and in women, a desperation surfaces that impulsively causes improper usage of the cell phone contact list. Ex's of seasons past call, call, call each other until one call leads to another and they are once again seeing, hooking up or going to crappy holiday parties with people they rightfully dumped or admit it, rightfully dumped them.

Question: Why? Why? Why?
Answer: We are human. We are cold. We are alone.

Word from the a not always wise but definitely a happy, still single (but not void of this anxiousness) Chicago winter survivor! Don't be lazy and answer or make those calls to or from the ex's! Get off your butts, face the cold, walk yourself to a bar, party or event and try to meet someone else who also isn't settling for less. The reward will be so much better!

Happy Holiday Season!

My friends and I out on a cold snowy night! We did it!

About My One Documented Follower (and her husband)

I have one documented follower on this blog and sadly that one documented follower (my sister) told my mother just a few days ago that she didn't remember I had a blog (or that's how the story goes anyway). I realize that I don't update this blog very often but the plan is to start updating it more. If you enjoy my blog or even if you don't but are one of the millions of people super bored surfing the net at work, please become my follower! This will make me feel better because lets face it, I love documented attention.

Whether she reads this or not, this blog entry is about my one documented follower. She is, as mentioned, my sister and just last month she married Tim. Tim and Bethany are a great couple and on their wedding day, I had the opportunity to give a little speech. This is what I said....

'Bethany, you are one of the most determined and intelligent persons I know. You may not know this but I have admired you for as long as I can remember. Even though our teenage years.

You taught me how to walk and inspired me to dance and today as adults we still have been known to dance and sing to our favorite Broadway musicals together.

You showed me that hard work pays off and took me on your journey to Mizzou and Chicago and without looking back I followed because there was no where I would have rather been then with my big sister.

And now, today with Tim, you are showing me what true love looks like. I see it in your smiles, communication and affection with and for each other. I know you well. You are happy and content and even though you live so far from me, I do not worry because I know Tim will keep you safe, make you laugh and travel the world with you. All of the things you need.

Tim, in 2006 Bethany kept talking about this Tim guy, "Tim this, Tim that". Finally, you came to Chicago and we met face to face. You were so calm and kind in how you treated my sister and I and from that point forward I was hoping that you were in fact "the one" for her.

Tim and Bethany, may your adventures be far and wide. May your love for each other always be generous and kind. Tim, welcome to our family....enjoy!'

The happy couple on September 18th, 2010

A "shoe that fits"

I wish dating was as fun as finding the perfect shoe. With shoes the hunt is a thrill! So many choices, so many varieties, colors, shapes, designs, buckles, sling backs, flats, pumps, oh my goodness, I'm getting excited just thinking about it. I buy the perfect shoe. I wear the perfect shoe then oh no, they cause the perfect blister. OUCH, but who cares, no need to be upset. I go get my Dr. Scholl's inserts, fix them up a bit and me and that shoe are set for life. Even if they start looking a bit rugged I keep them because, lets face it, memorable times in shoes trumps making room in my closet every time! And even more exciting the only baggage they come with is the bag in which I carried them out of the store! Wow, I think I need to go shopping!

When dating, the hunt is more like the feeling you get on one of those enormous slow moving ferris wheels. Excited for the first fifteen minutes to the top. I have the perfect seat, a beautiful view and the heat from the sun warming my face. Oh sounds great, BUT, then I realize that sitting next to me is a crying baby. He can't help that he's crying but nonetheless, he is making this trip hard for everyone! Instantly, I cannot wait for this ride to be over and once back on the ground I drop to my knees and pray to God that soon, oh so very soon, I will find the perfect ferris wheel ride b/c I just cannot take another like this one.

Ok, so maybe I'm being a bit dramatic here but after last weeks dating debacle (and those of dating past) I am feeling a bit concerned about my possibility of finding a Dr. Scholl's adjusted "shoe that fits". I feel like I'm dating perfectly normal guys from a first impression stand point. Here's a quick review of my recent Saturday night festivities (should be noted that this was a second date after a pretty great first date).

The good, the bad and super bad:

1. Immediate compliment of "you look really nice"---GOOD
2. Later in the evening "nice" from the earlier sentence turned into "hot" and included a wink---BAD
3. Even later, he just started referring to me as "arm candy"---SUPER BAD

1. He invited me over to his place for a drink before heading to the bar---GOOD
2. He didn't have any liquor at his house and the place was grossly dirty---BAD
3. He dragged me with him to the grocery store to buy liquor for us. Of all the options in the store, he purchased tequila for pre-bar shots---BAD
4. Proceeded to fill a flask with the tequila, stuffed it into his jacket pocket and proclaimed "now we won't have to buy drinks at the bar" ---SUPER BAD (btw, he also took about 4 shots before leaving his place).

1. Loved to dance---GOOD
2. After making it clear that there was no way I was drinking tequila out of his flask he bought me drinks---GOOD
3. Ran into his ex-girlfriend's friends---mostly just BAD for him (could have been avoided if he hadn't taken me to a place him and his ex frequented...duh!)
4. Pouted and walked out of the room leaving me standing alone (God forbid if I'm going to follow this clown) not too far from his ex-girlfriend's friends AND long enough for another guy to walk over to me and attempt to hit on me (no kidding)---SUPER BAD

I ended the night giving him a lecture on how it wasn't a good idea to take intelligent and confident women on his "rebound adventures" and that if he insisted on doing so he would need to find one that was much more willing to put up with this crap. He was very receptive, hehehehe!

Thanks for reading! I'm off to go shopping...for shoes!

Dear John Doe from the Gym,

I like to work out, in fact, so much so that I even have aspirations to very soon make supplemental income as a Personal Trainer. I live, breath and preach the importance of staying in shape and eating well. During the winter, I'm at the gym at least five times a week and not just for cardio. I would consider myself a gym rat. I'm in the free weight area (not only the machine area) at least three times a week. Barbells, cowbells, bench press...I'm there, Nike weightlifting gloves and all.

The other day, I realized that being in this area of the gym is, for lack of a better description, like being somewhere named "Testosterone Land". First, hardly any women venture into this land. Why would they, right? In fact, it took me a good months of forcing myself to workout in your land to actually feel comfortable. Yes, I was intimidated or maybe even scared. All these strong men grunting and grinding their teeth, even hissing and spitting to get those super large weights pressed, curled or extended, can be very intense. Anyway, I'd like to thank you and all the other boys in "Testosterone Land" for allowing me to visit your area. HOWEVER, before I return I need to let you all know few simple facts. I'm not visiting to....

1. GET A DATE. That's right, I'm there to work out also! I'm curious, is it news that a girl could work out in "Testosterone Land" merely because that's where the best free weights are located AND not to get your attention? Well, hello, I'm that girl and trust me, there are many more of us out there. Also, just an FYI, the pick up line "I like your form. Do you come here often?" is not acceptable...EVER.

2. GET TRAINING TIPS. Thank you very much but I've been working out with coaches, physical therapist and personal trainers for most of my life. Not only that, I've done my own research and unless I ask, I don't need your "I'm a man and I know best" tips. Are you wondering how you are supposed to identify women like me? Hint, if I/we venture into "Testosterone Land" and keep to ourselves, totally not smile at you and just aren't paying any attention to you whatsoever, it's most likely I/we don't want/need your suggestions. To be honest, I could probably help you out more than you could help me. Just wondering, does your back hurt from inappropriately lifting all that weight?

3. GET FLASHED. If your workout at any point includes squatting, leg lifts or sitting full spread on a bench please, please, please I beg you, wear biker shorts under those lovely, a little too small, gym shorts. I know I'm in "Testosterone Land" you don't have to prove it. By the way, biker shorts are pretty cheap at Sports Authority.

So the work day is almost over and I'm headed to the gym. I will most definitely stop into "Testosterone Land" and I do hope you respect my wishes.

Sincerely,

Sarah

Fast Eddie

The below excerpts are conversations based on fact and happened last night at Fion Bar. Description of Fast Eddie: Beer belly, claimed to be 33 but looked more like 45. Self proclaimed professional poker player. Half Hawaiian and could apparently cut a rug like no other (didn't stick around to see that happen).

Here we go...

Fast Eddie: Your pictures don't do you justice, I thought you'd be a bit chubby
Me: What picture gave you that idea?
Fast Eddie: I don't know, there was just that one.
Me: Nope, I don't know which one.

Fast Eddie: You are one of the older girls I've communicated with on Match
Me: I'm only 29??
Fast Eddie: Yeah, my last girlfriend was 26 and I typically date younger women, but you look "hot" so don't worry about it.
Me: Thanks (big gulp of wine).

Fast Eddie: I used to be pretty shallow. You know, when I was younger and in better shape.
Me: We are all like that sometimes, how about today?
Fast Eddie: See back then I had the looks but now, I've got money so you know (wink).
Me to the bartender: Another drink please! Oh yeah, just put it on his tab.

Fast Eddie: I've been known to talk a bit ghetto
Me: Oh really, why do you think that is?
Fast Eddie: I'm part Hawaiian and I hung out with basketball players in college.
Me: I don't understand?
Fast Eddie: I'm part Hawaiian and I hung out with the basketball players in college.
Me: Oh, no way? (yep, this was his only explanation)

Fast Eddie: Yeah, I have a six pack
Me: Nice
Fast Eddie: Yeah, I have a six pack
Me: Great
Fast Eddie: Yeah, I have a six pack
Me: Ok
(So this didn't happen exactly like this but he did mention it three times in 1.5 hours. BTW, while my date went to the bathroom, I asked the bartender if he thought the guy had a six pack. Bartender rolled his eyes and said "yeah, maybe of beer").

Last but not least:

Fast Eddie: I typically date successful women with lots of money.
Me: Oh nice, I'm successful but I work in the non-profit sector.
Fast Eddie: Yeah, I got to be careful with women like that. I'm a professional poker player, I've got to keep my eyes open, don't want to get used.
Me: (Sideways look) You ready to go!!!!!

Online dating is fun but can also be comedy gold!!

Bon Voyage, Adios, Farewell Folks!

In college I was a history major which meant I wrote tons of freakin papers. Five page papers, two pages, 30 pages, you name it I've done it! The introduction was always easy. Wrote a simple explanation of what my paper was about and what I was trying to prove or support then onto the meat of the paper, again easy! The hardest part for me was always the conclusion. Summarizing everything and then restating the validity of it all. I hated writing conclusions!

I would say this is how I feel about Chicago summers. The beginning and middle of the summers are easy and enjoyable then of course the end draws near and bam the cold is back and I'm stuck reviewing everything I did the past two months and wondering what it all meant to me. I hate the end of Chicago summers!

This year will most definitely be different! Because of a strange turn of events at the office I have grasped the opportunity to live the best conclusion of summer EVER! Though strangely enough, I won't be spending it in Chicago!

Bon Voyage, adios, farewell folks, I'm headed on 24 day tour though Singapore, Malaysia and for over half of the trip Thailand! The cities I will be visiting in order are Singapore, Melaka, Kuala Lumpur, Penang, Nakhon Si Thammarat, Ko Samui, Bangkok, Chiang Mai, Lampang and Sukhothai (say those three times fast). I'm going alone but I won't be alone. I am meeting 5 to 6 other individuals that I do not know in Singapore. Together me and my future friends will experience this trip with a tour guide from Intrepid Travels, trains, bikes, buses, elephants and other forms of local transportation. We will be staying in 2 to 3 star hotels and two homes of the locals. I won't be roughing it completely but the itinerary did say something about not being surprised if we have a run in with a squat toilet. Good thing I've been working on my squats all summer, RIGHT!!

I cannot express how excited and nervous I am about this trip! I think it will be the best conclusion to any of my summers to date. And in case you were wondering, hell yeah, I can't wait to be surrounded by Asian men...I mean Asian culture, ha!

Do vegetables make you incompetent?

Yes, I am a vegetarian! For approximately six years I have been experimenting with some sort of vegetarian diet and am more so a vegetarian now than ever, only eating fish when absolutely necessary! I love my eating habits. Veggies are wonderfully filling, tofu can be delicious and protein bars are a great snack for those lacking any interest in the so called "meat sweats". In regards to the people in my life, I only have four friends and one cousin that follow the same dietary habits as myself. That's five people! The rest of my family, friends and potential date-ees are non-discriminatory meat eaters. Burgers, chicken, sausage, they cook and eat it all! Now this is not an issue for me! If I spent my time only hanging with veggie eating folks I'd have hardly any friends and would never go on dates unless I joined some sort of veggie eaters match.com, which, I won't.....yet!

Yes, I wrote "yet"! It seems possible that my eating habits are making the men I date, who claim to be good cooks, very bad cooks. Recently, I've had two similar situations with two different guys. In both situations, I'm invited over to his place for a vegetarian meal that he cannot wait to cook for me. You know the phrase "cooking is the way to a man's heart"? Well, replace "a man's" with "Sarah's" and you've got the phrase I live by! Both times, the guy assures me he loves to cook AND is good AND he's got the perfect dish. I'm practically drooling at this point. Not sure if I actually like the guy (typical me) but willing to give him a chance because any guy who will cook for me is potentially the man of my dreams. So here's how it went, only slightly fabricated.

Scenario 1:
Sarah: Wow, frozen pasta!
Boy 1: Yeah, I think it needs to be thawed, would you mind doing that your way?
Sarah: Wow, frozen peas!
Boy 1: Yeah, they need to be thawed too, would you mind doing that your way?
Sarah: Wow, a whole onion!
Boy 1: Yeah, would you mind cutting that, your way?
Sarah: Wow, whole garlic
Boy 1: Yeah, would you mind finding the perfect clove, and mincing it with your own bare hands because I don't have a mincer, nor do I know what a mincer is and on top of that, I don't own a tablespoon or measuring cup or even a sauce pan. Basically, I only know how to cook meat so I've been completely uncreative here and hoped that since you are the, should I say "vegetarian" you could just cook the whole dinner for us. (slightly fabricated part but based on actual events).

Scenario 2:
Sarah: Oh, you made pasta!?
Boy 2: Yeah, could you add water, it's over cooked and a bit sticky.
Sarah: Do you have any sauce?
Boy 2: No, huh, you eat sauce?
Sarah: Yeah, marinara pasta sauce is usually made out of meatless tomatoes.
Boy 2: I bought some tofu for you!
Sarah: Ahh, great! Should we drain it and saute it?
Boy 2: Darn, I don't have a strainer or any oil or any seasoning whatsoever except for salt! You can't just throw it onto the pasta?
Sarah: Not sure sauce-less pasta with flavorless tofu will be very good?
Boy 2: Oh, I thought that's what you vegetarians did.

The truth is, it seems very questionable if either of these two men have actually ever cooked to begin with! I honestly think they have but got so mixed up about what was vegetarian acceptable that they depended on me to bring the ideas and or do the cooking. Problem here, I was invited! I went into the situation thinking it was going to be a nice evening of non-Sarah cooked food, wine and entertainment. Bottom line, regardless of my dietary specifications, these guys were completely unprepared to cook anything out of their ordinary! It's not cute or funny, just a total turn off! So no, to answer my question, I don't think vegetables make you incompetent if you are a carnivorous cooker but just a little word of advise to all (men or women) who like to invite dates over for a home cooked meal. Be prepared or YOU may come off as being worse than anything...relationship incompetent!